And so the bubble has finally burst... I knew it's just a matter of time. But I was living in denial all along. Everybody was. Till the day comes. This week it's full-blown. It started with a shocking news on Mon and closed with a ground-breaking news (as quoted from Ad) on Fri. E tendered on Mon morning. Ad did so on Fri aftnoon. Perfect week, wasn't it? They've prepared me mentally all along for this day to come.I'm thankful on tt. Really thankful. But it turns out tt it didn't help a bit. It still hit me hard. As predicted. Even xp knew. Funny tt he instantly went with pre-emptive counselling on me the moment Ad dropped the bomb on his desk. Via office IM. I was working 'night shift' at woodland tt day. "Stay positive!" "Having portfolios is not abt bad luck, it's an affirmation of ability" "Hahaa... why this all of a sudden?" "Just a pre-emptive counselling. Was just afraid tt u r gg to get affected by them" No, sir. I'm not a robot. In fact, I have feelings. One is my friend since univ; while another is a senior I've worked with for abt 1 yr plus. Having comrades leaving me one by one will darn sure hit me hard. I can't ignore it. The tables around me are getting abandoned one by one. I can even have a table for my own now! I can even claim 2 tables if I want to! Don't u understand the feeling?! I often wonder why I stay. Why on earth do I hold on to this. Is it because I have no choice? Or is it because I'm a coward. Am I not ready for the change? Are they impulsive? Or am I rigid? (I don't even dare to change this blog's layout or move into a more user-friendly blog provider). Maybe pride plays a part in this too.. The only thing I can think of for now is the bucks. I need the money. I can't afford to quit without a job even if the gg gets tough. Wad they say: when the gg gets tough, it's time to go. I love how tt sounds. But tt's not practical for me. Sometimes I envy them. At least they've got a fall-back plan, though I know they are not exactly counting on it. They came from rather wealthy family. If it were me, it's enough for a reassurance. Ah, heck... I dunno what I'm feeling anymore. One more portfolio is coming. Ad's prezzie. I'm supposed to be freaking out or stressed out or something. But I don't. I'm just feeling empty. Lost. It's gonna be a really tough few mths to go through. Let God have mercy on me. Pls don't let my hair fall even more. I still want to be safe n sound n not bald by this July... There. I have let it all out. I could really use some HUGZ now. Even a virtual one from Vanessa e other day felt comforting... PS: On a totally unrelated note: I love Taylor Swift's Fearless album!! Her songs have kept me company during those late hours recently....

I've just watched Julie & Julia ~ courtesy of bf. He didn't actually have much interest in this movie but let me watch anw, 'coz I was somehow psyched by the movie trailer hehe... It was slightly better than what I've expected. Lots of food, cooking, and blogging. Oh, I found the real blog of Julie Powell ! It's this --> http://blogs.salon.com/0001399/2002/08/25.html The first post was in the exact same words as quoted in the movie! Awesome... This movie is surely one of those which got me into some thinking moment. It has touched on purpose of life, focussing on a hobby, setting a goal (and actually doing it till the end). Since this is a real story, the meaning of those things gets deeper and feels like real. I like cooking. And the thought of writing a cookbook (inspired by the character Bree Van der Kamp in Desperate Housewives) has of course crossed my mind a few times before. But it has never crossed my mind that simple project set by a woman with a mundane day job can make sooo huuuge impact in her life. It's amazing how things can go with mere perseverance. And maybe with a little of luck, too. So the boyfriend asked me. "Do you want to be blogging about food, too?" Honestly, I don't have the confidence yet. I'm a girl with many capabilities and skills, including cooking but with the exception of baking ( I simply can't bake. Period). I also enjoy watching the cooking segment in Rachael Ray show. However, I don't think I'm that much into cooking yet. My skill is also rather mediocre, I must say. As for now, I think I should just focus on my sewing course. I'm halfway through my 8-session Basic Course 1. Yay! And I really enjoy it so far. Hopefully, I'm an inch closer to the dream of opening my own *and successful* boutique. This could be my own life project. Just like Julie. K, got to sleep now and wake up early tmr. Saturday is a sewing day! Oh yeah, Happy New Year to everybody!! Hope that this is a much better year than before  ^__^

I need to constantly remind myself to be thankful of what I have ~rule of happiness #1~ I've had a fun time today during mentor outing @AT house. To be honest, it was much much more fun than what I've expected. I didn't attend the previous one, partly becoz my "no man" behaviour won over my "yes man" behaviour (ref: Yes Man movie, starring Jim Carrey). So this time round, the 2nd mentor outing, I made it a point to attend it *partly bcoz I'm curious to see AT's hse hehehe...*. Anw, bf is in indo for this weekend, attending high sch reunion. So, no agenda for sat nite.  At first, I agreed with E to leave AT's house by 8pm. But then I got carried away with a mahjong crash course and a super fun but arm-killing Wii game----- a crazy-noisy-drunk-violent-babbling-rabbiD game. I'll surely wanna get this game if I own a Wii set. It was soooo much fun playing this game in a group of 4. So much laughter, shriek, scream and all sort of noises coming out from us. Oh ya, I won my first 2 games of mahjong. Beginner's luck. Too bad we weren't betting hahaaa... On the way home, I realize that I shd be thankful. Everyth ard me is not so bad after all. Not as bad as what I've felt few days ago. Good thing that my mentor grp still consists of nice n fun ppl. Good thing that I'm still here in the company. Although the pay doesn't really correspond to the workload, it's a good thing that I still have a job with average pay. Good thing, too, that I still get a bonus this yr. Good thing that, at the end of the day, I can still go back to a nice air-con room or chit-chat with my flatmates. Good thing that I have my JC friends as flatmates...... and the list of good things keep snow-balling.... making me even more content with my life. There are some colleagues who suffer in their mentor group. There are also some friends who have not found a job after few mths of graduation. There are other friends who want to quit their job badly but couldn't get another/ a better job. There are friends who have to live in unfurnished apartment for the time being. All sorts of real life problems out there.... So it's true. Like what my bf said the other day: I have to keep glancing down every now and then. I can't look up all the time. There are many more friends / people with worse life situation than I am. I should be thankful ^^

Are you annoyed by the numerous notifications appearing on your facebook when your friends take quizzes? I'm one of those. I mean I am the kind who takes quizzes (guilty as charged) and also the kind who gets irritated by the numerous notifications when my friends take silly quizzes. Some quizzes are ok, but some others are totally trash. So when facebook notifies me that a friend of mine took "how horny are you" quiz, I get irritated. Recently I discover -- and thus calling it my own theory --- why people (including me) take facebook quizzes. It's psychological. Put it like this: say you unconciously want to project the image of you being a romantic person, then you take "what kind of person are you" quiz and get "you are a very romantic person" kind of answer. Instinctively you would click "publish" when the system asks you whether you want to publish the result to your friends or not. So taking this quiz is actually a better option of letting your friends know abt this fact rather than typing " <your name> is a romantic person" on the status update box or your friends' wall. Apart from being narcissist, silly and all, the later option only shows 1 sided point of view. The quiz provides a 3rd party acknowledgement that you are indeed a very romantic person. Do you get it? It's alright if you don't. Most probably you are in the state of denial i.e. you know it's true but you are somehow embarrassed to admit it =p Some of you even retake the quiz over and over again just to get the result you wanted and then only publish it. Am I right? Oh yes, there is another type of quiz takers who take crappy quizzes (perfectly knowing tt the quizzes are crappy) and publish the crappy results to the entire world. My guess on this --- and thus calling it my own hypothesis ---- is that they are bored and want to look funny by entertaining their friends with crappy jokes. Some of those crappy answers did make me laugh though, so I'm not complaining  xD I am so gonna get this theory and hypothesis vetted by my aunt who is a psychologist, then take the "what is the most suitable job for you" quiz and retake it countless times till I get "you should be a psychologist" answer heheehe...

I saw a quote on TV mobile, and it goes like this: "Get a job that you love and you don't need to go to work everyday" I think it's true. If say, your get your dream job doing something which you really love doing, then you won't feel like you are working. It's more like you are doing some hobbies or leisure activities. But is it practical? One thing is, you still have to make a living somehow. And if your dream job is not able to provide you with a decent sum, I guess it's not practical to pursue it. I chose practicality over ideality. Sometimes I regret it. And I truly wonder how does it feel to have a job which involves things that I love to do. Being comic book illustrator? Professional jewellery maker? Interior designer? Or even fashion designer? (although I'll still need to learn the skill for some). I know there would still be stress involved such as deadline or maybe dealing with difficult customer/projects. But I guess if I really have the passion for it, then I wouldn't feel too bad abt all those. I would do the job happily and whole-heartedly everyday. Maybe even with new excitements everyday? No monday-blues and TGIF... Oh well... I should just be glad that I'm still earning enough money for now and still surviving in this job somehow. Maybe... just maybe.. one day I might still have the chance to get one of my dream jobs

It's been long since I last blogged here. Sometimes there is just not much energy left after a long day at work. Sometimes, it's simply the non-existence of the mood to blog. I still read other people's blog,though. It's a relaxing activity. And I complain silently when they do not update theirs as frequently as I want them to *selfish grin* As expected, I'm usually back to this blog when I've got smth to complain about. Yeah, it's usu better to squeeze all those complains dry here than on other people's ears. A blog can't say no and doesn't have the right to be irritated when I write a whole string of complain in it hohoho... The next available option out there will of course be my bf. He has the right to be irritated when I complain, but I know he loves me =p Back to the complaint. This time round, I think I'm somehow running out of luck. Big time. This is really serious. I've been known as the 'lucky one' throughout my whole extended family since the day I was born. I brought luck not only to myself, but to other people around me as well. Right now, I feel like I'm Lindsay Lohan in  "Just My Luck", who suddenly looses her string of luck after kissing a guy. And that guy gets all the luck she used to have... Firstly, I tripped over a low curb at a bus stop in front of novena square and successfully sprained my left ankle. Me and my 2 lovely A11s decided to have a rather long lunch at novena square tt day since we got nth much to do at client's place. What seems to be an enjoyable time turns out to be a painful one. Fyi, I was wearing a pair of high heels. To top it off, the incident took place exactly 2 days before my long-planned 1 week trip to Thailand with bf (2-8 May 09). Can it be of a better timing?! Oh well... I still went to Thailand and had a good time. Although my ankle was still insanely swollen the day before I went off. I don't really feel the pain when I'm walking, so I thought it was nothing serious. Just temporary swelling, like the doctor said. But maybe since I walked alot in Thailand (duh, what can you expect from a 1-wk trip overseas?), the injury did not heal by the time I came back to Sg. If I place my feet in a certain angle, it hurts so bad. So I visited a sinseh last week at a place recommended by my flatmate, Jef. Darn, it hurts so bad when the chinese lady massaged it. I must have looked like a woman giving birth. Imagine me lying on a bed with my feet dangling at the end of the bed and a lady in white robe tending to me in between my feet. Also, every now and then, I let out a squeal, bite my lips, inhale and exhale furiously, close my eyes so tightly and my hands grasping and twisting the sheets so hard it can tear any minute. Yeah, it was exactly how it looked like during the massage session. I've just came back from the 2nd massage session,btw. And I bought a cup of bubble tea to cheer myself up on the way back. For the record, I didn't cry. Second 'misfortune' is during the Thailand trip itself. Again, what seems to be an enjoyable time turns out to be a painful one. I lost my 3-mth old phone somewhen during the trip. Yeah, I don't even know exactly where and when I lost it. It could be the room service guy. It could be pickpocket along the road. It could also be my careless self who accidentally dropped it when I took out some stuff from my bag. I seriously dunno... too many possibilites *but 1 thing for sure, it's totally none of your fault, dear* Singtel has suspended the line after I reported the loss of my sim card. They said I can just activate it anytime by dropping by at the cust svc counter. Sounds easy? Hell no. The problem is that it is registered under my cousin's name since I was under-age tt time. And she now lives in Australia. It took me exactly 1 week to finally get a sim card replacement and transfer the ownership to my name. Now for the second and a half misfortune (it's only worth a half since it's not tt serious)--- the new phone I want to buy is now out of stock. Stupid me for contemplating way too long before finally decided to buy tt phone. Well, I'm no impulsive person, so I don't buy smth just like tt without a proper research, which obviously takes few days to do. But of course, budget is also a problem. Oh, there is another factor: guilt. I don't feel like treating myself to a nice expensive high tech phone after losing a 3-mth old phone just like that. No way. But for the record, I didn cry over the loss of phone.. Lastly, is the third misfortune (note that this only worth a half since it's not tt serious compared to the other 2)--- I've lost a mechanical pencil either at client A's place or at client B's place. Before you say anyth, it's not an ordinary pencil. It was given by my company, amongst the other stationeries, on the first day of work. We've got to return it to the company once we leave the firm. And it's purple. And it has my most favourite name piglet-sticker pasted on it.  ~!@#$-%^&*(+_  Got some superbly lucky clover for me to keep for the mean time, anyone?

...Can't shit for almost a week? And having this uncomfortable feeling in your stomach? Worry not! Here comes the easiest, cheapest, and painless solution: Rojak! It must not be any type of rojak. It must be this $2.50-chinese-type-of-fruit-taupok-with-sweet-peanut-sauce rojak which is sold by an old auntie at the hawker near my HDB block. Results are guaranteed within 1hr from consumption. Tested twice by me personally! Ok, don't get all the wrong negative ideas about the rojak. It really tastes good. In fact, the reason I bought it at first was due to a friend's recommendation and also the fact that I was craving for my home fruit rojak. But then, goodness, I can't stop gg to toilet for few days after eating that. The second time I bought it was with the hidden motive of facilitating my bowel movement (read: I've had constipation for almost a week! although I eat lots of fruits n veggies). And 1 hour after I finish eating the whole plate of rojak, I can alr feel it---the heavenly sensation that made me dash to toilet. It could be the sour-ness of the pineaple and mango slices. Or maybe there is this hidden ingredient that the auntie put inside the rojak. It's all a mystery. But one thing is for sure--- I'm definitely gg back to that stall whenever my constipation problem resurfaces ^__-

It all started with a job-booking cancellation on Monday due to unforeseen circumstances, so I was left with another 2 weeks of unassigned period. Die. On Mon night, I was greeted with a BUNCH (according to my definition, 4 is enough to be defined as 'a bunch') of filthy disgusting cockroaches. I was on the way to my dearest toilet cubicle to  *ahem* shit (which i've been holding on to since I left office). Aft spotting the freaky creatures, there goes my deepest desire to release my *ahem again* shit. Oh, and I swear they were not the usual type of cockroaches, judging from the extra humongous size, the sickening grey-brown color, and the loud clattering sound when they crawled for their life as I spray excessive amt of baygon ---  (although my bf laughed when I say all those, my flatmate n 'saviour' for tt day confirmed with me regarding this fact. He agreed that it's the kind of cockroach which usu come out of man-holes). They must have suddenly attacked my house due to no-warning fogging activity that happens few moments b4 tt at my hdb block. That night, I had the most un-peaceful sleep ever. With the lights on, of course *some might alr heard abt my theory of lights vs cockroach* Tues was extra-ordinarily good as HH helped me to get the overnight stock-take job booking for next week. I'll b  doing the job with her,too! On Wed, I almost die of heart-attack when I read my email. I was taken out of the stock-take for nxt wk and was put back into the old engagement. Tt stock-take was the only precious thing tt I really wanted for the wk >.< Anw, they give me a stat audit job for Fri, which is good. Eh, there was another bad stuff. I kept having an error msg everytime I tried to submit my order for company's free polo-tee!!! Darn microsoft access!! Give me my free polo-tee!!! On Thurs, I was ecstatic to see that my stock-take job booking is given back to me. But at nite, the AIC emailed me and said that my stat audit job for the next day is postponed to Mon. While HH alr took a leave for tml since she thought I'll b in office too anw. So here I am, on Fri aftnoon, still 'stoning' in office. Thought I could have lunch with Tam, but she's suddenly sent to client's place. Wad a luck I have T__T Oh, 1 more thing! I met Regi on the way to office this morning. Another weird encounter, I should say, as this has never happened b4 and our office is at diff building On a last note, I still cannot resolve the t-shirt order problem thingy up to now. IT dept can't help. And the guy who's supposedly in charge from the rec club is on-leave today. Deadline is mon, but I got a job out of office tt day. GREAT! $%^*(!~`@#

My job  booking for these 2 weeks is suddenly cancelled!!! GRAAAAARRRRHHH!!! @#$%^&*~ After few e-mails being sent here and there amongst me, rmt, and my aic [auditor in charge], it seems that the mis-booking is due to some oversight by rmt. Anw, lets not talk abt whose fault it was. The end result will still b the same i.e. me getting bored in office, perhaps entering an acute stage of depression, and bitching abt it in another blog entry Luckily, some of my 'cliques' somehow turn up in office yest n today. One has finished her job assignment earlier than expected. Another one suffers the same fate as me-- got her job booking cancelled at last minute notice. So at least I didn't end up being alone in office and rot silently.... Oh, and I felt so pissed off yest (due to the whole job booking cancellation drama) till I decided to stop by ntuc on my way home, and buy lots of cooking ingredients. I was saying to myself that I want to indulge more in cooking these 2 weeks. I shall cook more and more and more..try new recipees..cook smth that needs longer time and more effort; not like the usual practical-and-time-efficient dishes. Anw, i'll be home like super early aft work each day, due to no job bookings. And cooking has always been a hobby to me. It helps me to get rid of unecessary stress/ tension Today, me n my colleagues went for the usual-super-duper-early and long lunch break. It was cold and windy, but somehow we just did not bring any single umbrealla with us. We went to Far East square for some Hock Lam beef. Yummy! The beef flavour in the soup is really thick and tasty. I love it! Realizing tt it had only been abt 45mins since we left office, we decided to go for a walk. We stop by a pushcart selling shoes in one of those alleys in far east square. We tried on some shoes, with HH being the most enthusiastic abt buying one haha...  Then my eyes landed on this very nice pair of heels. I'm eyeing on the goldy-white color one *with ribbons, of course, since i'm a lil ribbon freak*, while HH and Tam prefer the velvety-red-purple color version of it. Anw, it's really a VERY comfortable pair! So cushion-ish, so soft... Too bad the shop owner didn't have my size. Out of curiousity, I just asked how much that pair costs. Guess wad the owner replied.... freaking 79.90 bucks! I was so shocked till I thought I heard it wrongly. She said it's made of real leather. No wonder it was so comfy.... We went back to office aft some more walk around Golden Shoe area and got succesfully wet due to the light rain. I made a mental  note to bring umbrella when gg out for lunch tml onwards. Seems like the rainy season is finally here...